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Letting Go of Anger, Anxiety, and Depression during COVID-19

April 27, 2020 By DeeDee

letting it go like a balloonDo you find yourself walking back to the refrigerator again and again? Are you flipping between the major news channels trying to find the latest stats and unhelpful news? Perhaps you are wondering if this “monster” of a pandemic will ever go away.

The truth is COVID -19 is bad enough without a side of anxiety, anger, or depression. Yet, COVID’s unpredictability and the uncertainty it created in all our lives has made anger, anxiety, and depression household figures even among people who rarely suffer from these emotions. The tension, rage, or sadness you may be feeling is common, but there are a lot better ways to deal with it than trying to eat your feelings away.

4 Healthy, Positive Options

When you’re feeling stuck, try one or more of these techniques to help pull yourself out of despair.

Turn It Off

For many, 24-hour news cycles where talking heads scream their opinions is not helpful. Tying their views to one political viewpoint or another is not helping viewers who just want accurate information.  Social media will try to herd you into taking one side or another. Still, it rarely provides any type of solution.

If watching the news or reading through your news feed isn’t helping, change the channel. Try Tiger King on Netflix, watch a movie on HBO, or watch your old favorites on ME TV, Nick at Nite, or TV Land.

Let’s Get Physical

Keeping your body active will help you feel better, and keep your mind from wandering into dark places. Go outside and take a walk around the block, or try one of those Couch to 10K apps. If you don’t want to leave the house, head to YouTube, where you can learn how to do the Git Up dance, watch a How to Yoga Series, or find an exercise video you like and try it in the house.

Imagine if

Visualization is a powerful technique that you can use to push difficult feelings aside. Imagine you are walking in nature and picture yourself breathing in the crisp mountain air. Take a moment and smell someone grilling steaks or fish in the distance. Imagine you are holding a dozen colorful helium balloons in your hands. Each one of them represents a different problem that you are facing. Let go, and watch the balloons fly away, taking your worries high into the sky until they are so tiny, they disappear.

Focus on the Positive

Even during this pandemic, there are still positives going on in your life. Write those positives on Post-it Notes and leave them around your house. Practice some self-talk, saying phrases like “I can handle this” or “I’ve been through tough times before.”

If You Need More

If anger, anxiety, or depression are taking over your life, you should probably talk to a caring professional who can guide you through this difficult time.

Deanne Ginns Gruenberg is conducting telehealth sessions during COVID-19. All you need is an internet connection. There is nothing you will need to download. Schedule an appointment today.

 

Dear Bear a Storybook Review

April 9, 2019 By DeeDee

Storybook Review by DeeDee Ginns Gruenberg

Dear Bear by Joanna Harrison is one of my favorite books to help children face their fears.  A little girl named Katie is convinced that a terrifying bear lives under the stairs of her house.  Worried and frightened of the bear, she believes the bear’s shadow follows her when she climbs the stairs.

Imagination at Play

Katie’s mom encourages her to write a letter to the bear and tell it to go away. The bear writes back to thank her for the wonderful idea and informs her he definitely needs a vacation. The thoughts running through her head after the bear writes back are beautifully depicted with numerous illustrations which begin with a bear that looks quite menacing to a smiling, friendly bear riding a bike and enjoying his trip.  The bear includes a P.S. in his letter which informs Katie that he’d be “Back on Monday.”

Writing at Play

Upon his return, the bear leaves Katie a note and present on the piano letting her know he’s happy to be back.  When she stops hearing from him, she misses him and becomes concerned that he is ill. This is an excellent opportunity to discuss who was probably behind the bear’s letter writing. With mom’s encouragement, she continues correspondence and inquires if the bear is ill. After receiving a letter confirming that he is “under the weather,” Katie prepares an antidote which she leaves outside the door under the stairs.

The Bear’s next letter confirms that he is feeling better and includes an invitation to join him for tea. Again, with Katie’s mom’s encouragement, she gets all dressed up and nervously descends the stairs.  As she enters the little room underneath the stairs, she finds a cute teddy bear by a tea set with a note that reads “I’m tired of living under the stairs. Can I come up and live with you instead?”

Creativity at play

The heroine in this story models for the fearful child a creative way to conquer their fears through writing, communication, imagination, and play.  By following this story’s example, countless children I’ve worked with have embraced the idea of writing a letter to the source “the villain” of their fears.  By writing a letter, the child concretely communicates to villain, faces their fear and asks them to disarm or go away.

Following the initial letter, the child and I are free to use our imaginations to turn around that fear.  We then write a letter from the villain in response to the child, and our imaginations are endless with positive endings, apologies, and words of encouragement which we can even act out.

The book Dear Bear offers a child many tools in which to face fear, worry, and anxiety. When learned, the tools of communication, writing, imagination, and play empowers a child to live with confidence and control.

My Quiet Ship

February 6, 2019 By DeeDee

Book Review by DeeDee Ginns Gruenberg

Home should be a place where children feel safe, secure, protected and loved. While we all wish every home was a safe refuge, five million children are impacted by domestic violence every year. Common feelings among these innocent victims include feeling scared, helpless, ashamed, angry and guilty. They often feel as if they are to blame and without a supportive person in their life, the physical and psychological toll from the toxic stress they experience has lifelong repercussions.

Parental Conflict

“My Quiet Ship” was written for children experiencing parental conflict in their home. In this story, a young child models bravery and courage and the power of imagination.

“Whenever I hear the yelling, I run to that spot and become commander of the Quiet Ship.”

That “safe spot” is under his bed, where Quinn draws and uses his great imagination to take him and his cuddly plush animal crew, far, far away. They escape “from the sounds that hurt my ears and make my heart ache.” Beautiful illustrations help bring the story to life and make the reader feel a part of the empowering journey.

One night the yelling gets so intense, that

“it breaks the Quiet Ship. Quinn yells at his parents to stop fighting. When they ask why he’s under his bed, he eventually tells them “I am scared!”

Quinn is empowered; his parents’ realize how frightening it was for the child to listen to their arguments. I think this part of the story is important to explore with a child because it can be dangerous for a child to intervene when parents are fighting. It is incumbent upon us to help children create coping skills that will keep them safe! Managing the grownups who are fighting is NOT a part of the safety plan we create in our play therapy setting.

Bibliotherapy Tool

“My Quiet Ship” is an ideal bibliotherapy tool to help children feel empowered to cope with all kinds of situations that create intense emotions. It normalizes their experience and provides the distance they may need to talk about the situation.

play-therapy-room-with-meeting-area

I usually have clay available while reading to the child. After reading the story, children create their “Quiet Ship” using clay, sand or art.

In addition to using it for domestic violence, I find it has broad application when addressing anger and conflict as well. In my work I find using books like this one let the child know I am interested and that I will be able to “hold” their pain, frustration and other intense emotions.

Hallee Adelman is the author of “My Quiet Ship.” Pictures are by Sonia Sanchez.

I’m told that Self Esteem Shop will have “My Quiet Ship” on hand at the upcoming MIAPT conference.

Can’t wait to see you there!

DeeDee Ginns Gruenberg logo

Private Practice in Troy, MI

Self Esteem Shop Under New Ownership

January 10, 2019 By DeeDee

To Our Friends and Colleagues,

After 28 years of owning and operating our family bookstore, and pouring our lives and love into the business, the time has come to drive off into the bookstore retirement sunset. We are thrilled to announce that we have found the perfect team to take our mission forward and ensure the future of the Self Esteem Shop.

The Self Esteem Shop is under the new ownership of Nicole Wilbur and Kathryn Thomas. Nicole is a highly recognized social worker and her non-profit organization, Blue Water Anchor, promotes wellness, education, and success within the community. We are confident that the store will continue to thrive with your support under Nicole’s leadership.

The past 28 years have taken us to nearly every state. Harry and I have formed wonderful relationships with our customers, conference participants, conference organizers, and authors that we will always treasure. We will miss you all. I hope to come across you either through my private counseling practice in Troy, Michigan, or at conferences that I plan to participate in.

The Self Esteem Shop has been more than simply a business. It’s been an opportunity to help therapists and individuals in need. It has been our way of helping our community mourn, grieve, heal, recover and thrive. We hope you will continue to patronize the Self Esteem Shop under its new ownership and continue the legacy we have built.

Love always,

Deanne (DeeDee) and Harry Gruenberg

P.S.  Contact Nicole and Kathryn at selfesteemshop@gmail.com. Phones should be working shortly (800-251-8336). You can also visit the website selfesteemshop.com and on Facebook.

The new home address of Self Esteem Shop is:

9568 Marine City Highway
Casco, MI

Little Book of Tempers

December 14, 2018 By DeeDee

It’s okay to get angry if you know what to do.

That’s the premise of A Feel Better Book for Little Tempers.

The story, done in rhyme helps young children recognize their anger, experience how it feels in their body and develops healthy coping skills to manage this emotion.

For my own practice, I transferred the gentle verses onto “cue cards” and found that children love to demonstrate the techniques in the book as I “flip” each card of the story. They make the mind-body connection as they “pretend their anger is the ball and their arms are the bat.”

The story moves from high energy movement to deep breathing, visualization, and muscle relaxation. What a fun way to learn anger management!

By DeeDee Ginns-Gruenberg, RPT-S, LPC

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Deanne (DeeDee) Ginns Gruenberg, MA, LLPC, LLP, RPT-S
2833 Crooks Road, Suite 100
Troy, MI 48084
Phone: 248-872-8506 - Email: dggruenberg@gmail.com

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